Ladies, Here Are Reasons Why You Have To Poo At Your Boyfriend`s House

Everybody poops. I poo. You poo. That hot woman who works on the third floor of your office poos. Everybody poos, and that does not stop people from being attractive. Because if it did, not a single one of us would be getting laid. And yet, there’s this myth.
This curious, strange myth that women do not poo. Deep down, we all know that women poo.
They’re human. Of course they poo. But we like to pretend they don’t, so we can preserve ‘feminine mystique’ – or, to put bluntly, so we can preserve the idea that women’s bodies are only for sex, and thus we cannot acknowledge that their bodies would do anything that is not a massive turn-on.

We pretend this when we’re kids and go ‘ewww’ at the idea of girls needing the bathroom, when we say we’re going to touch up our makeup in the toilets, or when we mess around with the sanitary products bin so it sounds like we’re changing our tampon in the office loos rather than taking a giant dump. But most of all, we pretend when we’re dating.

It’s not just that we don’t mention pooing when we’re hanging out with someone we’re romantically interested in.
It’s that we are so dedicated to maintaining the illusion that women do not poo that we literally will not take a sh*t. We’ll hold it for the entire night, just in case we take a touch too long in the loos and get caught out.
We will cut a date short and rush home, rather than just admitting that, you know what, we’ve eaten quite a big meal and do in fact need to take a dump.

Just look at that story of the woman who got stuck upside down in a window to understand just how far women feel they need to go to hide evidence that they poo. This doesn’t just happen on the first date.
I’ve chatted to women who’ve been dating someone for months, and still refuse to poo in their partner’s house. It’s wrong, they say. It’s embarrassing. It would kill the romance. Which begs the question – why does admitting you poo, meaning just admitting that you have a human body, ruin the idea of romance? It doesn’t make any sense. It’s the pinnacle of unattainable standards for women trying to land a date. Not only must we be slim, have curves, have glorious hair, and had just the right amount of sex, but we also can’t have basic bodily functions. That would disrupt our allure.

We know this is absolutely ridiculous, and yet even as confident, feminist women, loads of us are still holding on to the idea that pooping while in the same building as someone we want to have sex with is deeply wrong. No more. Today I urge every woman: Take a sh*t in your partner’s house.
In the toilet, I mean. Don’t soil your date’s rug just to make a point. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first date, your second, or your thirtieth. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a restaurant or at their home. Do a poo